Cultural Shape Shifting

Adjusting to life in Dili is not as easy as I thought it might be and the people are teaching me more about myself each day but I’m at peace about living here and happy to be in this place.    Living in another culture totally different from my own is not a new experience for me however each new cross cultural experience brings its own challenges different from the rest, and its own interesting and unexpected moments.  Even after all my years adjusting and adapting to new environments, I can’t help but notice the small things that are quite different from life back home and from life in Africa and the Caribbean, unique to this place.  These include vegetable carts with booming disco music to attract customers, locals walking around 15-20 minutes in a store with their motorbike helmet on b/c there is nowhere to store it (tons of bikers here), the elaborate gift giving system between family members when someone dies (sometimes beyond the means that people can afford--including up to 10 buffalos and $1000 to the family of the deceased), and the unique blend of animist and Catholic traditions in the faith of everyday people.  I am so impressed but often confused when I hear conversations of locals mixing words of the local language, Indonesian, English, and Portuguese in the same paragraph, so I wonder how I will ever learn Tetum, but I am learning slowly.  I can see the Timorese have a strong sense of autonomy and solidarity, being the one small island out of 17,000 islands that broke free from Indonesia control. 

In the office, I am learning how to better relate to the national staff as I do my work, by accepting that work ethics between their culture and mine is different, and there are always reasons for why people do what they do.  I think the universal need for mutual respect and trust will always win over any cultural differences and I am learning more how to demonstrate that in small and more significant ways.  It feels a bit weird to supervise someone older than me, from another culture, and diplomatically propose new changes and ways of doing things, while building up the natural skills and talents of the staff.  I do however feel that my team is understanding my role more and vice versa… bit of a struggle at first.  Also, trying to negotiate many different cultures in the same office environment can be a tricky, but full of rich learning.  My co-workers at the office come from a variety of countries including Nigeria, India, Pakistan, the Philippines, Indonesia, and of course Timor Leste (national staff).  On top of that, I also spend time networking with people from other agencies who come from Australia, UK, Italy, Nepal, Guatemala, Korea, among others. Of course each culture carries its own way of communicating (accents, lingo, non-verbals) and work ethic and set of expectations so it’s a negotiation process—often very slow, but still fluid and I’m somewhat used to it from my experience living in multiple countries.  I’m finding out how adept or how awkward I can be at times in relating to others, which gives me more self-knowledge and appreciation of others and their unique ways.  Working on projects with others towards a common goal (meeting deadlines) definitely builds awareness of universal things that tie people together…the need for consensus, conflict resolution, as well as the practice of patience, kindness, laughter, and solidarity.  There are frustrating moments when the language barrier seems so thick, its like molasses syrup getting anything done... even the nurses in the field have not changed a 9V battery on their 1 doppler machine for 3 months!! (an important tool for pre-natal check ups).  Lots of lessons to learn every day but being “on point” culturally can be tiring.  It’s kind of like cultural shape shifting, staying who I am but blending into new social situations, shifting/ altering ways of relating to people as the situation demands yet finding ways to build bridges.  So I’m trying to get chill time in the midst of the work.

I know that the experts on cultural studies say that it takes a few months to adjust to a new place and letting go of some of the comforts/habits of one’s own culture and accepting new habits and realities is a process.   Once you stop asking why things happen and accept people are just different all around the world and have their own ways of living/coping/adapting to their environments/cultures, and find a home away from home, then life becomes easier.  I am going through that transition process now, and I feel myself letting go more and more.  Thankfully, my Peace Corps experience has taught me adjust to daily realities different from life in America.  This includes super loud motorbikes without mufflers, total disorder when people line up at cafeterias and corner stores for service, being looked at like an alien in the rural areas, intense humidity/heat, windy and dilapidated roads on field trips, long work days and being a fish out of water, not knowing a lot of people in town, and comfort foods frequently unavailable, even milk!  I am adjusting to those realities without much resistance and have found ways to cherish the unique things of life here, such as abundance of tropical fruits, sights and sounds of the ocean and incandescent sunsets, good cheer of my local co-workers, mandated community clean-up events in the city, and relaxing in my new apartment (with a pool) just by the beach.  I also appreciate all the work of the local and foreign NGOs trying to make life better for the people here and the government officials who sincerely want change for the country.  There are tons of expats here and one can really get engaged in a lot of different social activities if you make the time, which I need to do more of.  I have met people at church and at a few social functions, and I try to get a weekly tennis lesson in so that life here is not all work, but lately, I’ve been working super long days and not sleeping as much as I’d like to.  Slowly but surely, I will find the right balance and rhythm to do my work, to practice necessary disciplines, and to have some fun as well.  The third culture kid in me is finding a way to adjust and drop a bit of my own bias/attitude and pick up the local worldview… sort of a melding of the two which can make me versatile, yet a bit displaced in both the home and the new culture.  It ain’t easy, but its an ebb and flow like the sea on the sand, just slowly being immersed in this new environment and in the end, hopefully reflecting a new me and connecting with people on the way.

I still enjoy the field visits, hand down, for sure.  I went to the field (rural districts) with some colleagues from Korea to learn about the local issues as we write a proposal together with the local staff for a new health grant.  While we were there, we met with community leaders and members, and get an earful of good stuff happening there with our projects, but also complaints from some of the community members about broken promises from local NGOs and our partners.  It’s hard to know both sides of the story without having context but hearing about a plan for a water well that did not come through… a promise made 10 years ago, that still has not been fulfilled was hard to hear.  Many communities assume NGOs will always give stuff, yet its just an assessment of the situation, rather than actual plans.  It’s also hard to hear about the mothers who have to give birth at home with just a traditional birth attendant and have no recourse when the delivery is complicated, leading to increased risk of death and disease.  But those stories and voices need to be heard.  Services are available but they are often inaccessible (sometimes pregnant moms have to walk 5 miles on rough roads to get a pre natal check up), so our job as an NGO is work with the government to increase the access and skills of the workers and the community to manage preventable illnesses through high quality programs and well organized strategies.  I am praying this grant comes through and we hope to have an opportunity to help organize the people to change their own situation (with support of course).    Timor has a long history of foreign occupation, poverty, and freedom fighting, so where there is a threat, opportunities lie ahead.  The people have assets and gifts, especially a legacy of autonomy and standing up for their rights… it’s just a matter of tapping into it and working together with people, to cut through the negative attitudes, corruption, and selfishness, and find a way to build together.  There are definitely priceless special moments that I've experienced here in which I really felt a connection with the people, including my recent field trip in which I received a hand made cloth from a little girl and also had a good feedback session with my co-worker.  So the building together ("hamutuk") is happening bit by bit.