Waves of Beauty and Hearts of Passion

 “Since I joined the [microfinance] group, my life has changed… I can now take out loans without feeling ashamed, I can pay the school fees for my daughter, and my husband who left me, has come back to live with me, seeing that I can now support myself and provide for the family.”  These are a few feedback comments that a project participant shared with me and my partner organization today, showing the power and positive impact of participating in the savings and lending (SILC) group in her village.  As mentioned in a previous post, she named her newborn baby “SILC” in honor of this project, which I am now monitoring by gathering success stories.  I can feel the passion in her heart as she spoke of the wonders this group has done in her life as she spoke with us today.  A 32 year old mother of three currently serving as the official secretary in 1 of 74 project groups has testified that SILC actually works—a forum in which women can take small loans and meet the economic needs of their children/household.  Some say that it’s too small scale and doubt whether it can make a difference to reduce poverty, but I have seen otherwise.  This warms my heart and gives me inspiration to continue the work. 

Over the past 2 months, I’ve been integrating more deeply into my projects with CRS and opening up more with Tanzanians, gaining more knowledge in their language and culture and forming meaningful friendships and work relationships with my colleagues.  Honestly, I couldn’t have asked God for a better placement with such a mission-orientated organization, to challenge me, to use my gifts, and to engage me in the world of community health, giving me so much to learn and to share with others.  My employer’s focus on catholic social teaching with an emphasis on serving the poor and marginalized fits so well with my vision and faith perspective that I feel at home working with fellow brothers and sisters who really care (and pray) about what they are doing.  Being here in TZ has given me sense of passion and purpose that I have not felt in a long time, at least since my time in the Peace Corps, and even then I was wasn’t fully sure of what I was doing, but now I feel that this work is leading me to something else.  We’ll see how it goes. 

In late October, I traveled to Nairobi, Kenya to participate in a work retreat for all fellows placed in Africa, where I had a chance to catch up with my colleagues/friends and learn about their work.  While I was there, I gained some inspiration as I heard them share about their challenges and successes, learned some more technical skills in program management, and experienced a little nostalgia of being back in the city where I spent 5 years of my childhood.  Kinda weird being back there, a city so developed and expansive yet so familiar as I traveled down the roads and forest paths which I used to know so well.  In November, I travelled from Mwanza to Dar es Salaam two times to participate in strategic planning (SPP) workshops with my employer, summarizing the events for the team and learning about how the priorities of partners and programs line up and at times conflict.  It’s been interesting to see how church and government partners speak about their experience in working with us and how past unresolved misunderstandings have affected our current relationships.  Being in Dar several times has been nice, despite the pollution and crazy traffic, because it’s given me the chance to visit a couple different beaches with friendsand  enjoy the warm Indian Ocean,.  In Dar I also attended a huge Tanzanian wedding and witnessed lots of TZ line dancing and a 13 year old dancing his heart away to Micheal Jackson’s classic “Thriller”,  as well as experience a bit of the nightlife.  I was in Dar during their 50^th Independence Day celebration, although I only caught the tail end of it by checking out a soccer game between the ministers of parliament.   

I guess these past couple months have been all about relationships.  I’ve started to learn how to better work with partners in terms of my communication style while trusting in their skills to get the job done.  This trust is delicately balanced with the need to guide them in budget reviews and internal management issues with my supervisor to ensure effective implementation of the project.  I’ve been learning what it means to be a team player, striving to be flexible and patient in the midst of deadlines to carry out assignments that my 3 supervisors have requested of me, and at the same time, feeling I have something to offer, and take initiative to suggest new ways of doing things.  It’s been challenging to work with different personalities, as it always is in any work environment, but fruitful mainly because I have good rapport with partners and co-workers, and have had a chance to visit the field four times in the last 2 months.  I finally met the Bishop at the diocese where our church partner works and convinced him to start a nursery of the miracle “Moringa” tree (which combats malnutrition).  He is fascinated with tree planting so it was easy to convince him.  I also helped facilitate over 60 farmers to start their own nurseries to distribute to all the SILC groups.  

Visiting the field to learn about the Great Lakes Cassava Initiative was also very enlightening, having a chance to see how efforts to resist drought and crop disease have paid off in 6 countries of East Africa, inspired to see that the varieties given to farmers have endured the elements and produced food and a source of income for families.  (partner capacity to continue the project is still a challenge though). I participated in planning for AIDS projects and a new TB project, as well as started to engage in “mini-rotations” with all the operations departments (finance, admin, programs, etc).  However people are so busy with a million tasks in Mwanza, so I’ve had to initiative a lot of my own learning.  In December, I spent the last couple weeks doing intensive research on the background context of TZ as part of the SPP process and presented the results to my colleagues in Dar.  We came up with 6 key issues facing TZ which our organization will attempt to address over the next 5 years, so that felt rewarding to see a strategic plan starting to formulate. 

Just recently, I met with my supervisor and am on track to meet most of my learning objectives, although I was a bit ambitious going into this fellowship and have so much more to learn, but am learning one step at a time.  Most importantly, I’m getting to spend a lot of time with partner groups in the field and I am feeling at home in Mwanza, forming good friendships, sharing lots of laughs and good conversations with my co-workers… feeling satisfied in the work I am doing.  I haven’t had much time for Swahili classes, but have been witnessing the love in the hearts of the people of Tanzania, in their hospitality, their joy, their solidarity, and their desire to improve their own lives, however challenges persist.  A woman having plowed the field all day with her child strapped to her back, an orphan tapping my car window rubbing his belly begging for food, a young girl in tattered clothes and bare feet staring at the white guy walk by her house, a group of men asking me for a job or a goat or cow just to get by, and a desperate police officer pocketing a little extra money with each ticket he writes.  All images of struggle that plague Tanzania; a place where many politicians continue to reap the benefits of shady deals with the business sector and neo-colonial investors in the mining industry… a place of injustice and a place of great hope with so much love at the family level and passion for change at the community level, rolling down like waves of crystal blue water on the beaches of this resource rich nation.  So much inequality, yet such a strong will to survive that it makes one appreciate blessings from above and see each day as a gift, despite all the madness.  Still there is so much to learn and so much to share with my brothers and sisters of this land.     

Let's Dance

A lot has happened since my last update so this post is a bit long.  Since I’ve been keeping busy with work and hanging out with new friends on the weekends, I haven’t had much time to post updates, but here is some recent news.  I finally got my Tanzanian driver’s license so I’m a free man, in terms of transport--at my convenience.  My organization loans all fellows a car as a benefit since buying a car here would mean it becomes national property automatically when we move out.  So far, I’ve been using it to go to/from work as well as take my Tanzanian friends out for social events.  Actually, a couple of weeks ago, we visited a local lakeside beach lodge where I had a chance to relax on the sand and even play football/soccer with the locals… and for some crazy reason, I was able to score a goal with my left foot, which was a first for me.

Just yesterday, I had a chance to see my first official African football match of the “old guys” (soccer club vets) play each other on Nyerere Day (national holiday to commemorate the death of the father of the nation).  It was sort of nostalgic for much of the audience seeing these older guys, who were once TZ football stars, now business owners with potbellies, play against each other in a friendly match.  I must say they still got skillz but were a bit slow and one goalkeeper seemed to flutter his feet in the air when he blocked a shot, which drew some laughter.  I also have gotten to know some other ex-pats, chat with my Belgian neighbors, and swim at the pool down the street. 

Besides the chill time, I’ve been to the field twice in the last month and that has definitely been the highlight of my time here so far.  Being with the people at the village level is essentially what I’m here for and these trips give me the opportunity to see the project lived out in people’s lives.  The primary project that my supervisor and I are working on relates to implementing economic strengthening and health prevention activities to improve the well-being of households who have orphans/vulnerable children (OVC).  The children are largely vulnerable or orphaned b/c their parents died of AIDS or b/c of poverty/urbanization and the kids are left with uncles or grandmothers.  My first trip was more of an orientation, visiting 2 villages to observe a round of project chickens being vaccinated (part of the income generation and nutrition activity) and also a village-level savings-led group conduct their business of making deposits and loans (aka. SILC groups).  These groups are the bread and butter of much of the programming with my employer in Africa since they are mostly groups of 30 women, with a few men, who deposit from 50 cents up to $2 per week into a pool of money (community cash box) and can take out micro-loans up to 3 months with interest for their own business (often buying/selling goods or for seeds or insecticides) or personal needs.  It’s pretty ingenious b/c these groups use peer pressure to pay back the loans and build a support network and emergency fund to meet urgent needs of the members. 

SILC groups are being trained in nutritious crop production, HIV and psychosocial support, water management, and other skills to benefit the OVCs in their respective families (every member of the group has at least 1 OVC in their house).  While I was there, I witnessed the fruit of what CRS organized/trained via their field partners, who were all Tanzanians, in that the group functioned fairly independently, needing a bit of guidance on their record-keeping (the secretary of the group even named her infant “SILC”!)  They all seemed to appreciate the presence of the new guy on the block-especially when I introduced myself in Swahili!  Actually, they were so impressed that they asked me for a cow and a sewing machine for their group as their guest of honor, which I deferred to the partner who later told them it’s not possible.  The best part of the visit though was after the meeting when all the women, went to go dance at a neighbor’s house to celebrate the first time one of the babies in town left the house to see the sun.  They all came up to me single file to shake my hand, then I decided to join them in the dance, and couldn’t resist breakin’ out some old skool hip-hip “raise the roof” style dance, as all the women and kids, young and old, followed along, copying the style of the new guy.  Then, to my surprise, they handed me the infant as I was doing the “running man” so as to enjoy in the celebrations.  Needless to say, it was the best day here so far!

During the second visit to 2 other villages, I worked with the field partners to collect missing data from an OVC survey, which was an interesting process of orienting the field staff on monitoring tips and quality issues to observe in the village as they in turn oriented the local community volunteers during the process of administering the survey with the OVC.  I stepped back so as not to correct them too much, and just watch them train each other, which was a valuable experience in letting go of the “perfect” way to administer a survey.  The visit to a village primary school was really cool b/c I got to see how students interact with each other and we exchanged language lessons with each other as well.  In another village, we assisted several SILC groups with “sharing-out” their profits (dividends) after having spent 9 months saving and lending to each other.  The smiles on the older women’s faces were indescribable as some of them were handed the equivalent of $50 or $80 (i.e. the sum of their savings plus interest earned), who had never held that much cash in their hand ever…. followed by a loud applause.   We hope they will use the money for their own intended purposes stated 9 months ago (to finish building their house or pay for school uniforms, etc).  At any rate, it was a powerful witness to sustainable development as a first step towards economic independence and wellness for their family.  I was still disturbed though after visiting a school in another town to see that as the students finished their school day, the boys were sent to play soccer and the girls were instructed to go fetch water in buckets at least 1-2 kilometers away.  The TZ field supervisor chuckled a bit, saying “gender discrimination still persists so we have a long way to go.”   I also learned about the horrible practice in certain places in TZ of killing albino children for good luck/health… which seems to be a lingering influence of black magic, but this is rare.  Several NGOs have projects to help dispel these myths.  Nevertheless, it was a valuable experience and many more to come. 

I’m enjoying work at the office and I am really fortunate to have such a chill supervisor who is funny but serious about the work.  She has been teaching me about budgets and how to plan for the next fiscal year, as well as collaborate with partners.  Actually one of our partners is an agriculture expert and just happens to have access to the miracle tree (Moringa) which we can incorporate into our nutrition piece with OVCs, so it’s seems God has worked out a lot of large and small details in using my passions and skills here in TZ.  I’m learning a lot of Swahili and cultural challenges as well, with the inevitable corruption prevalent at many levels.  I haven’t been asked for a bribe yet, but a local TZ friend was recently tricked into paying a bribe to a traffic cop who pulled him over.  Also, the crazy motor taxi drivers have a knack for zooming by on both sides of the road in the same direction!  So I have to really watch it when I walk since there are few sidewalks here these guys have been known just to start fights with innocent people to assert their authority as the “bad boys” in town.  A few kids will ask for money in the streets and some adults will ask for job connections, but this is something that happens in many places so it’s not surprising.  Nevertheless, I still realize that I come from a position of great privilege, just walking around town, so I try to stay humble with an open mind, ready to learn and be okay when my personal space is constricted or when projects/tasks at work don’t pan out as planned due to a different sense of timing and productivity across cultures.

Overall, I’ve been healthy and living comfortably at home.  I have set out simply to work hard, be flexible, laugh, and enjoy the people around me.  I have so much to learn but staying productive with a routine has been nice, and I can’t complain about the 78 degree weather every day!  I have also learned to appreciate the value that animals contribute to survival and wellness here, whether it’s having a guard dog in the city or oxen on the farmland, animals are so important to people here (and to me too as I've benefited from my neighbor's fresh cow milk).  I've also been learning different and innovative ways development can be carried out by local partners and that the people of TZ have so much potential yet so many personal politics get in the way at times (selfish ambition/party loyalty, etc.).  On a lighter note, my garden is doing well and I hope to enjoy the tomatoes and cucumbers very soon.  That’s about it for now.  

Settling Down in a Place of Peace

Beautiful sunsets over Lake Victoria, welcoming smiles from the locals at work and at home, roosters crowing and cows moaning day and night, the smell of burning trash--countered by the sound of singing schoolchildren in the morning, and the regular water leaks and floods in my house, are a few of the observations/experiences that come to mind in my first few weeks in Tanzania.  I’m nestled in a 2 bedroom house with a private compound in the rocky terrain of Mwanza City, just on the southeast side of Africa's largest lake in northern Tanzania (TZ for short).  It’s the lake zone and the average temp is 75 degrees this time of year, every day!  So cool and fresh to be back in East Africa, the land where I spent part of my childhood, as a World Bank/expat kid attending school with other Wazungu (white people) and visiting game parks to see wild animals; only now I’m an adult with a full-time job at an international non-profit agency working on humanitarian relief and development projects.  I am setting out to learn how development works and how to be a part of this participatory process with local partner agencies on various OVC/HIV/AIDS and livelihood projects.  
I never imagined that I would return here, let alone have a job here, but I am very grateful to be in this wonderful place having spent the last couple years looking for an opportunity to use my gifts and past experience to serve others.  Now the door has been opened and as I walk through it, I will give my best, giving thanks to God and my family/friends who helped pave the way, recognizing there will be challenges ahead with plenty of contradictions and hurdles, as there is with any sort of human development process in that it’s never linear.  However I now have the Peace Corps Dom. Rep experience to build on, with all the past struggles I overcame during that period, coupled with the inward journey I took over the last 3 years and I can only say that the timing seems right.  I have a sense of direction and purpose here so that feels good.  I know this will be hard at points and joyful at other points, but that's how life is anywhere I figure.  I will mostly be learning program management skills and then if all goes well, be transferred to another country to develop or support health programs.

I’m not sure if one could classify this new experience as taking a big risk, but working in TZ with an NGO is kinda like a new Peace Corps experience (yet more at the institutional level), leaving many of my comforts behind and being unable to control or predict many things within a new culture and a new land.  In a sense it’s a process of letting go and embracing even the little things that are so different from US culture.  For example, listening to the cows not only moo but also moan on a daily basis (I think b/c they are trapped in little pins) is a bit hard to handle since they are directly in back of my house on the other side of the hedge, and I can smell the manure, but I try to keep a sense of humor and imagine that the moaning is due to a flatulence problem and I wonder if one could trap the methane gas and use it to power my stove, that would be amazing!  Anyhoo, I’ve gotten used to the burning trash since there are no garbage trucks that come by and I’m starting to adjust to my limited meal choices because there are no large supermarkets here… good thing I know how to cook a few different meals.  Actually the tilapia from the lake here is super tasty and super fresh!

The house I moved into is very spacious and I have an awesome day and night guard (required by my employer) who watch over the place-- along with my trusty dogs named "Crocodile" and "Cheetah", but there have been several water leaks so far, including one that flooded my kitchen during the night!  Maybe it’s a test, but it’s all good since I’ve been through the P-Corps and know what it means when things don’t go smoothly as I am surrounded by a new culture/people.  I have a good landlord and there is a good admin person who both tend to any domestic problems right away.  All in all, I’m happy and have been quite healthy.  All the water leaks were finally resolved today and the gardener/caretaker to the house helped me with a garden in my yard, where I will be planting some veggies this weekend, using local compost as wellJ  I’ve been learning how to speak basic greetings in Swahili, and the national staff seems to appreciate that, especially when I can say “what’s the news” in 10 different ways.  Actually, one driver I work with got a big laugh when I meant to say “I read my book today” but I actually said “I read my butt today” ha-ha!  Always fun learning new words, especially with words that sound alike but have a totally different meaning J  I am now taking Swahili classes, learning "pole-pole" (poh-lay-poh-lay) [slowly but surely].

Socially, the scene is pretty low-key.  There are a few night clubs and occasionally ex-pats will get together to catch up and share the latest events and just hang out.  The second weekend here, I had a chance to go dancing and hang with a group of other foreign development/ medical workers, along with local Tanzanians.  I try to hang with the locals as much as I can and had a chance to play “football” (soccer) a couple times with some kids in town and also play in a game of ultimate Frisbee with another group.  The kids especially liked it when they scored a goal on me through my legs… my excuse is that it was almost dark and he shot at close range!  I even had a chance to run some laps at a local school around a group of Indians playing cricket, so that was fun and they were all super nice.  Overall, people here are really friendly and are more than happy to help when I struggle to learn a new word in Swahili or simply greet me with a smile. 
There are several things I really admire about the Tanzanian culture.  They have a history of very strong national unity, mostly rooted in the ujamaa (villigization) experiment from the 70s and 80s, where everyone was taught Swahili in schools, and people lived communally and shared their resources; a legacy of their first president, Julius Nyerere. http://www.infed.org/thinkers/et-nye.htm   Unfortunately, there was difficulty in putting everyone on equal footing, and the capitalistic multi-party system stepped in its place in the 90s, which brought its own problems of wealth disparity, debt to foreign investors, and poverty.  Nevertheless, the people here are mostly upbeat and TZ is known for being a “haven of peace” (hence the name Dar es Salaam), in which there is broad acceptance of immigrants, refugees, and people of various faiths [the country has just as many Muslims as Christians].  Here in Mwanza, it’s common to see a woman in a hijaab (headscarf) or niqab (face veil) walk by, and just behind her is a group of western dressed youth just hangin’ on the streets... many of whom are unemployed.   There are places of worship for Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, and many other small sects dispersed through Mwanza, sharing the space in peace, which is really cool, especially today as Ramadan officially ends and Muslims are celebrating with feasts across the town. You definitely get the feel that this is a place of tolerance and multi-culturalism, alongside poverty and an economy largely based on agriculture.  Although there are about 120 tribes in TZ, (most people in Mwanza are Sukuma.. hence the name "Sukumaland"), there is a strong identity in being a Tanzanian.  

So all in all, everything is going well ("kila kitu salama" as they say here) and I really enjoy working for such a reputable and partner-focused agency and being in the presence of such a loving, peaceful, and warm people.  Many more pictures and stories to come!

!SISI TUNAINUA PAMOJA!


 [together we rise]

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

Just a thought...

The wind is a mysterious thing… an invisible yet powerful force to affect and often shape everything that it touches, yet where does it come from and where does it go? Who can know except for the Creator of this element? After a long struggle to find a sense of direction, I am impelled to faithfully go where the elements naturally take me…down the path of uncertainty. Though it may be risky and unpredictable, I choose to live anew and let the Author of the wind take me where I was meant to go so that I can be shaped to do what I was meant to do.